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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?